Part two: Behind the door.

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encouragement / light / mentalhealth / Uncategorized

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What makes you different?

(Your faith? Your current sense of mental or physical health? Skin colour? Body Image? Insert your *thing* here)

When you enter into a room full of people and become aware of your difference, before words, if any, have been exchanged,

What do you feel about that difference?

Why is that for some of us, our first inclination is to hide whatever of our own differences are most apparent for us?

Why is it that for some of us, our knee-jerk reaction is to squash down deeper whatever we initially had much closer to the surface, before we walked through that door?

Why are we so anxious to hide?

To edit?

To alter?

I don’t actually think the answer to ‘walking into the room’ without hiding

is to bare all of us, to all of them.

But I think maybe it’s got a big something to do with our own relationship to ourselves.

I think I feel sad for the pieces of ourselves

that we leave on the other side of the door.

All for the sake of blending in.

When we do that, I think we walk in partially

Hollow,

Partially deprived,

Of the life that gives us

Breath.

That’s where I get a sense of that eery silence.

I don’t know how helpful it is to tell parts of ourselves that they are somehow too embarrassing or too unacceptable to be here,

Before they even have the chance to be seen,

Welcomed,

Nurtured

By the person who’s carried her or him this far.

You.

Other people have a big part to play when it comes to growing in this way.

But.

The person we carry into the room with us will only find him or herself at home,

If we, ourselves,

Allow it,

In its messy fullness,

To dwell there first.

It will only find itself at home if we stay loyal to it;

Promise to have it’s back

And don’t abandon it at the door,

Sort of thing.

I feel like the more we do that,

The more okay we’ll be with those who walk in to the space with a little limp

Or wobble of their own.

So, I have two final questions.

  1. How can we better welcome ourselves; or welcome our whole self into the space that is today? What would it take?
  2. And how might we foster environments in which it’s ok for other people to step in to the space in a less than perfect/wobbly’different-to-us state?

The Author

28. Counselling + Theology Student + Ponderer + Writer + Do-er of hair.

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