So I’ve been considering something in a way I hadn’t quite before. That being – we are wired to connect with people. To live day to day with people in some way or another. It’s almost as if when there is a genuine hearty sort of below-the-surface type connection right there you actually find out you’re ok, you meet authentic love and acceptance there. Connection – it’s the light of sorts that can actually break into the dark.
Sometimes it feels like the individualistic thing gets pushed hard. You know – the whole ….’you should be able to do it on your own.’ ‘ You shouldn’t ever need someones help.’ ‘ You should first be completely whole before anything else.’ It is a tricky balancing act for sure. I feel as though we need to be open to becoming individually whole in connection with good people we can trust. We can build ourselves so many ‘safe’ walls that separate us from others rather than connect us to others. We get stuck in a kind of lonely box. It’s safe – sure, but we can’t see or experience the depth of beauty that surrounds us nor offer what is within us – because something tells us the risk is too high.
What do the walls look like? Fear can be a wall, but Love can be a door. Anger can be a wall, but Gentleness can be a door. Defensiveness can be a wall, but openness can be a door. Dishonesty can be a wall, but honesty can be a door. Pride can be a wall, but humbleness can be a door. There are walls, but there are always doors. The doors lead through the wall, into a beautiful connection with another. In the baring of self there will be a bridging of a gap between two, a filling of empty space. It is in this openness that true connection happens!
In relationships, being individual and unique is a beautiful thing, but in that – when a friend or ourselves are allowed to feel safe enough to crack open these doors, to be known and truly accepted for who we are in all the messes, muddles and mistakes and actually realise that this is all part of being human – it really is brilliance. It’s a relief to know we’re in this thing together. Love blossoms right here. Connection happens here. We are all on the same page. We’re messy. But we grow stronger in the mess if we are willing to let the right people in. The right people will be the encouragers, the honest ones, the gracious ones, the persistent ones, the ones you know you can trust. Find them and keep them. Be them.
p.s I have been watching a lot Brene Brown as of late and she has masses to say on the matter! Check her out on youtube.