You who try so hard to get it all right. You who aim for no mistakes. You who want it all just. perfect.
Perfect is silly. It really is. I think in aiming for everything to be exactly as it ‘should’ be…. we lose things as they are – the here – the moment. Perhaps its not so much that we shouldn’t set a high bar for ourselves but more… we need to leave the bar as is. And not put flashy prizes up on the bar, that we can only win if we reach it…….. If you’re going to put the whole ‘if i do this just. right, then i’m pretty great’.. up like a prize on the bar, or the ‘if i win this, then i’ll be ok’, or the ‘everyone has to be in a good mood, then i’ll be happy’ or the ‘i have to look this way, then i’ll be pretty’ or ‘if i’m doing what i’m called to do, then it’ll work out’ all in a row up on the bar like trophies….. (you get me? put your own in if its not there ‘if i………… then i’ll be….. “) Then.. what happens when you don’t reach the bar? Are you then…not ok? Are you then…. not great? Are you then…. not pretty? Are you then.. not on the right path?
Stop putting these silly little perfectionisms over yourself like they’re prizes to be won. Don’t you see? They can cripple your rad self! They kinda cripple the now.. The bar itself is harmless. It’s more what we decide to let it hold. Because it’s up to you what you put on it. It really is. You may be influenced by other things. But. You’re the only one who can put those nasty little ‘prizes’ up there, or you can choose to leave it. Set a high bar. But don’t let it hold any definitions of you. Coz they can be yuck. Your worth was never ever meant to be found there. He holds it. Tight. And, he alone takes you from ashes, and crowns you with good stuff. He’s proud of who you are. Period. He see’s you as you are and longs to bring you out and up. Higher and higher. He see’s you through the lens of grace not judgement right?
Ideals are good. The power we give them are sometimes a little soul destroying. A little cramping. I think the power we give them can steal away the ‘little joys’ from here and now. We become so fixated on the future and it having to work out all just. right. for everything to be okay. But it’s okay now. What if here and now was okay. Don’t miss the moments. Coz they can be pretty lovely too.
Like i’m listening to jazz music. And i’m in bed. And the electric blanket is on. And i have tea. My room isn’t tidy. But. I’ll get there.